I woke up today and decided to give myself permission.  It’s something I haven’t allowed myself to do for a long time, maybe even most of my life.  I say that I am looking forward to retirement because with it, comes freedom.  But I am beginning to realize it is more than freedom. I have opened my mind again to allow myself time to create, learn and grow.  Sitting at home today I realized what I was doing was giving myself permission to enjoy life on my own terms.

When we first moved here and Paul started playing more golf I found myself with long stretches of free time on the weekends.  At first I was running around doing chores, laundry, and errands.  Then at some point I asked my husband, how do you not feel guilty about spending 4-5 hours when there is so much to be done.  It was a bit of a wakeup call when he said, “because I enjoy it”.  He apparently didn’t inherit the guilt gene.

I think that was when I realized that I don’t allow myself much enjoyment.  I got trapped in a cycle of school, careers, raising children and just trying to keep all the plates in the air that I forgot to take the time to stop and smell the roses.  So today on a lazy long weekend I am giving myself permission to:

• Relax on the patio
• Photograph the birds
• Write this blog
• Eat that piece of blueberry bread
• Do yoga and stop when I am tired
• Read a book
• Watch HGTV
• Color with my watercolor pens
• Gaze out the window
• Sit and think and do nothing

The list is long and I could keep on going.  I hope you’ll make a list of the things you give yourself permission to do that make you happy.  Even when you are running crazy, raising kids with a stressful job, give yourself permission to make a little time for yourself and brush that guilt away.

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